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you are your own hero。





"I was a heavy heart to carry, my beloved was weighed down."



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you are your own hero。
30 November 2011 @ 08:44 pm
Hi, I'm alive. I'm mostly happy, partly confused, and ALWAYS TIRED. My life in no particular order as of present time:

- Life's so fucking busy I almost forgot my own birthday. People around me went "heeeeey, who's having a birthday?" "oh, yeah, right!", see?
- Boyfriend and people around me getting mad because I always put others first before myself that I tend to... overkill. :/ A bit. I get sick here and there. So many responsibilities I can't leave.
- I'm the Deputy Corp Commander at our CAdT movement. Second to the highest in command so I guess you could say sched is pretty tight. Reports/plans/training here and there.
- Also, the editor-in-chief at our school newspaper. Probably one of the best reasons why I get like, only about -- an hour of sleep? Thirty minutes? Nada? My editorial's down to the draiiiiins. Haven't written a single word, yet.
- I guess I could say I'm the leader, so. Yeah. You get the point. Cue Uncle Ben's "With great power bladibla".
- School bulletin writer, too. F, remembered I got an article to be submitted tomorrow.
- Done with two college entrance exams. Not. Fucking. Confident. Only reviewed for a day (SSC campaign before UPCAT, oration eliminations before MAPUA). Fuck?!!! Thinking of applying at Ateneo, too. That, I shall prepare for and pass. I mean, I'm pretty confident about what I've done, but. :/ No ample time for review to be sure enough.
- Striving real hard these days. Need to be the fucking valedictorian so that I won't stop school! Fucking scholarship, pleaaaaase. Sorry for the cussing. The pressure kills; always does.
- Won @ the Pearson contest regarding UAE's 40th Nat'l Day. Winning articles will be published. Whoa, my name, on a book? Pretty awesome.
- Attended Film Fest last Saturday. Hella fun and interesting. Learned a lot, lot, lot!
- So many fucking activities I wish for suicide and Resurrection after five minutes.
- My brother-figure (since, I have 0 biological siblings) is probably the only one who fully understands me and doesn't let me feel worse when I'm feeling down. :)
- Workaholic of some sorts. Feeling weird when I don't have any tasks to do. So fucking used to it that it feels like breathing.
- Feeling fucking immortal because I did survive all. that. shit. AND MORE.
- SO MANY FUCKING EXPECTATIONS I CAN'T LIVE UP TO. LET ME FUCKING BREATHE.

Most times, I don't feel enough as a person. I tend to... hurt myself with over-thinking, over-stressing out on shit I don't have to. Overkilllllll.

This post may somewhat seem a bit narcissistic, too. Pardon me, but I want to try to love myself first before others... just, let me try this time. Like some sort of self-praise? Sigh. I feel indifferent.

Should I love myself more?
a) yes
b) yes
c) yes

OK.